i’ve been busy ever since i got home from work tonight – putting dishes away, making dinner, washing dishes, putting away more dishes, doing laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, wrapping some christmas gifts we’re delivering early, and making two pies for tomorrow. =sigh= i should just go to bed, because we’re getting an early start tomorrow… but i wanted to write something first.
i’m somewhat sad – and upset – we’re going away for thanksgiving. even though i see my [immediate] family members quite frequently, i think it’s important being with them for the holidays. not that i’m against a little variation every now and then, but… nevermind.
anyhoo… we have a tradition of going around the dinner table – bellies full but still eagerly awaiting dessert – and each person saying what he/she is thankful for. when i was little, i would groan in agony at this exercise, but as i’ve gotten older i’ve come to appreciate it immensely. we should be giving thanks every day, but sometimes we forget, and of course we take things for granted… so what better day to set aside the time to do this specifically than thanksgiving?
well, since i won’t be around, i thought i would just go ahead and put in my two cents’, as it were. so here goes nothing:
i am thankful for…
… my family, most of whom are caring and supportive and extremely silly.
… my friends, though they may be few.
… my job, and a boss who appreciates the work i do.
… my car (that we could afford to buy a new one).
… my cat, Nala, who [sometimes] gives me affection.
… my talents and abilities, which i so often take for granted.
… my marriage, because it’s still there.
i could go on… but no need to get more minute than that. many times when i think of how much i’m blessed, one of two things happens – either i feel this overwhelming sense of undeservedness, or (if i’m not in the best of moods) i tick off the things i should be thankful for and add “yeah, but” at the end. e.g., “i might be able to bake and cook as all get out, but i can’t create my own recipes,” just to give you an idea. you could also apply it this way: “yeah, my family members are loving and all that happy nonsense, but they can really annoy me sometimes.” (pause) hey, i’m not saying that i say that, i’m just saying you could use that as an example!
why is it so hard sometimes to admit that, yes, we are blessed? that we have so much to be thankful for? maybe we just want something to complain about, to prove we’ve been wronged somehow. i don’t know. but right now i know how good i have it, despite all the imperfection. (i just wish i could hold onto that)