9 Months: Stick a fork in me, I’m done

Technically, I’m 36 weeks minus one day… but who’s counting? Oh, wait… I am! I can’t believe I’m 9 months pregnant, with [at least] one more month to go. Why do They say pregnancy is nine months? Arrrrgh! I should be done by now. I suppose it’s a good thing I’m not, because the house isn’t ready.

My belly-button hasn’t popped, and perhaps it won’t, but you can see by these pictures that I should be done SOON!

    

I haven’t written an update in a little while, because I’ve been busy running around to doctors’ apts. For those of you who don’t frequent Facebook, here’s the most recent Concern:

6:22pm Tuesday, Oct 16Another Baby [Bump] In the Road
I had my weekly apt at Women & Infants’ for the ultrasound/measurements. The doctor came in after the tech was done, and said the numbers looked fine. Phew! She doesn’t have anemia.

He was then kind enough to tell me that, based on the measurements, she weighs in at 4lbs 2oz… and I couldn’t help but notice that she weighed exactly the same last week, and mentioned in passing that it seemed odd and did it matter? He said that I wasn’t told how big she was last week, and I informed him that, yes, I asked the technician how far along I was measuring (even last week, she was measuring small) and she said the baby weighs 4lbs 2oz, at least a week off my due date. He went out of the room and got some other records, and said they shouldn’t have told me last week, I guess it’s not the week to week number that you look at, but every other week? *shrugs* Probably just trying to make me feel better. But he asked if I had had any non-stress tests (nope), and said – well, you’re gonna have ’em now! One today, later in the week, and twice a week from now on… in addition to my weekly ultrasounds and bi-weekly (soon to be weekly) prenatal apts.

I asked him IS THIS BAD that she’s measuring small – why do they always skirt around my concern? He admitted that it’s not great, and that I probably have an “inefficient placenta.” What causes this? Well… smoking, high blood pressure… nothing that I do/have… so it’s some unknown reason. Of course – nothing I can fix. So… no matter that I’ve already gained 40+ pounds, it seems I can’t adequately feed my baby with my stupid placenta. Normally, that would seem like a funny sentence to me… but boy am I pissed with the way my body has behaved my WHOLE FRICKIN’ LIFE!!! As I’m leaving, he keeps joking around, “Tell that baby to grow!” Thanks…

Mom and I thought maybe there’s a silver lining to this whole placenta thing – perhaps it’s inefficiency is preventing the harmful antibodies in my blood from passing over to the baby. In any case… I’m… just so tired. Tired of this, tired of constantly worrying about my baby, feeling that I’m a horrible mother already because I can’t even provide a nurturing growing environment for my baby. That’s what it’s supposed to do!

FUCK.
*********Pardon my French, by the way – I was upset *********
So… they’ve been monitoring the baby’s size and condition via weekly ultrasounds and bi-weekly non-stress tests, and continuing to monitor my blood for increasing antibodies on a weekly basis. At my visit today (see last picture in post), Baby passed with flying colors. She’s still small – at 4lbs 11oz she’s only gained 9oz in almost two weeks. For some reason, I’m the only one concerned. I keep getting assured that they’re monitoring the baby, yadda yadda… but can’t anything happen in the few days between visits? I dunno. It seems I have to ask the right questions, take care of myself, because I can’t rely on the experts.

Fancy abbreviations I’ve learned (these are some random links about each one, but they’re are tons of resources out there):
IUGR – Intrauterine Growth Restriction (or Retardation)
SGA – Small for Gestational Age
AIF – Amniotic Fluid Index
NST – Non-Stress Test

In addition, I’m going to regular now-weekly prenatal visits (where I get to learn that my doctors don’t communicate very well, I’m almost 200 pounds, not eating nutritiously, and now under House Arrest and not allowed to work and contribute to our income). I think that just about sums it up.

How have I been spending my time now that I need to REST? Well… the other night, I “snuck” out and attended another baby shower thrown by Nichole and Katherine – it was AWESOME! it was much more intimate with just a few friends, but smashing food, decorations, favors, and special touches. I felt SO special, and had a great time. Hoping to post some pictures once Dan sends the ones from his digital cam. *HINT HINT*

And of course there’s always the internet. You know how when you buy in bulk, you have to initially spend money to save money? Sucks at first, but gets better in the long run? I plan on giving cloth diapering a try, and have been spending oodles of time trying to find good deals online since we’re plum outta cash right now (our regular bills and trying to finish the addition before the Big Day are sucking us dry). I’m happy to say that, although I’m really not certain what I’ll need by way of sizes and total supplies for each item, I have a nice little stash that should last for a little while. I may have quite a bit of laundry to do… but hey, I won’t be working! (pause) Well, not getting paid for it, anyway. For those interested – and it really is fascinating, how technical the newer versions and their accessories are – here are some that I currently have and/or plan on getting in the mail soon (some of them used): BumGenius, Haute Pockets, Baby Love, and Kissaluvs.

So, what makes this all worth it?

Advertisements