Three Months!

I’m officially three months pregnant this week! Tuesday, to be exact. I was somewhat disappointed, though, when I found out I won’t technically be into the 2nd trimester until week 14, when Baby is 12 weeks. *sigh* I’m not really in a rush, but I’m anxious to be out of the “Danger Zone,” as I’ve been calling it. I was telling Kim – I’m looking forward to wearing maternity clothes, but not to the FAT part!

It’s like I’m having six babies – two in my tummy, two in my ass, and one in each of my thighs – I’m pregnant all over! I was telling Phil how my favorite pair of jeans are getting sort of stretched out and pushed down below my belly, so they seem loose when I stand… but when I sit, they’re uncomfortably tight and I have to unbutton AND unzip!

For Mother’s Day, I did feel extra-special even though I’m not an Official Mom and my pregnancy isn’t “showing.” Phil was so sweet – we went to Chariho Furniture (his great uncle’s wife either owns or manages the place) and he let me pick out a rocking chair! I always told him it would be #1 on our list IF we ever had kids! You must have a rocking chair for quieting down baby! It was so funny… they had this double-sized rocker (think chair-and-a-half size), and Phil joked that if we bought that he’d be rocking me AND the baby to sleep! Anyhoo… I wasn’t having much luck ’til we went to the basement of the store, where they had this nice, cushion-y glider. Now, I wasn’t sure I wanted a glider, because they always seem to get squeaky… but this one had a cushion that was rounded in the back; you nestle back into it and it cradles you. Ahhh. We got the lightest color, although it will still be a medium tone (I wanted something pale), and I picked a sort of light aqua blue fabric that was the same price as the one it “comes” with.

It’s hard coming up with original gifts year after year, and we’ll see how long I can milk this baby/grandchild thing! I
decided to make our parents/grandparents a framed picture of the my favorite ultrasound image. I made five different shadowbox frames – what a messy project! – and I think they came out cute. I wrapped two of them before I thought of taking a picture, so you’ll only get to see three of them (click on image for full-size version):

Chronicling one’s belly growth doesn’t seem the most admirable of pursuits, but I was determined to find a pregnancy journal I really liked so I could record the amazing journey. I finally settled on The Belly Book, which has spaces each week for a new belly photo! Uh-uh, once a month is fine with me – I don’t want to see any more than that! Anyhoo, I’ve been faithfully recording the process, and thought you might enjoy some excerpts so far:

“I am so excited – and anxious – for this new turn in my life. This has truly been an answer to prayer, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.”

Foods that generally calm my belly: what do you think? “SUGAR!”

Things I’ve been seriously jonesin’ for: “more ice cream… milk… homemade burgers… cookies… anything with sugar!… fruit… colored peppers… chicken salad…”

March 18, 2007 (written in April in retrospect) – “Extremely excited and nervous about seemingly positive HPTs – wouldn’t believe it until I saw the doctor on Monday the 19th. ‘Oh yeah, you’re pregnant alright’ the assistant said. I was dazed as she congratulated me, but my heart soared and this quiet happiness overtook me. I couldn’t stop smiling! Called Mom.”

March 25, 2007 (written in April in retrospect) “I’ve had so many ups and downs since first hearing the news – and it’s only been two weeks! And I’m almost two months pregnant. Weird… I think I’m more worried about people’s condemnation and judgement than I am about labor and being a good mom.”

April 5, 2007 – “Nothing else seems important now – I research baby stuff online, read baby books, make lists of name ideas… Mom, Kim, Nikki, and Kat have been SO encouraging.”

April 23, 2007 – (after the ultrasound) “It was my first sight of baby, and I was SO excited because I thought perhaps I would discover that it’s all in my head, or that Baby wouldn’t be forming or something. I was surprised to hear the thumping of the heartbeat; I thought it would be too early. I started giggling – which muffled the beat – so I had to settle down. I was so excited to show Auntie Nikki Baby’s first photos, and when Daddy got home I was grinning and skipping with excitement as I showed him our little jelly bean with feet! He laughed at my uber-excitement… This has definitely become more real for me.”

Of course, I have a million thoughts throughout the day that I don’t bother writing down – but that’s normal, pregnant or not! Please pray that things will continue happily and healthily – especially that I’ll be able to remain positive about my body. Low self-esteem and negative body image have been life-long struggles for me, and I’m definitely not getting any thinner (and I have enough stretch marks as it is, thank you very much). I pray constantly that I’ll be reminded that my worth is in God, and how He sees me, and I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” It’s hard to beleive it, though. It also helps that I have people who love and accept me as I am – but *I* want to be happy and confident with who I am.

Thanks. K

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