yesterday i went to christian hill community church (formerly new song) with philip for the first time in a long time. it was their first service in the new, official, church building, and it was really exciting – even though i don’t really know anyone personally and feel apart of the congregation. it was just exciting to see all the energy, all the happiness at seeing ten+ years of ministry for the pastor, his wife, and the congregation manifested in such a fashion.

the singing – my favorite time of the service – was filled with such exuberance, such passion, i felt like i was missing something. i don’t think i will ever have the spiritual relationship that some of those people have – and i don’t know that we’ll all reach that level of maturity, spiritual depth, whatever. sure, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive… but nonetheless.

we [finally] spoke to the couple who heads up the marriage counselling, and they’re supposed to get back to philip this week to set up an apointment. =sigh= i’m so nervous! now that we’ve actually got the ball rolling, i’m terrified. i don’t even know them, and i’m not sure where they’ll start or what questions they’ll ask. from what i do know about them, they seem like terrific people – but it’s different when you’re dealing with someone on such a personal level. i keep going over and over different scenarios in my head, and i don’t like any of them. =deep sigh= am i in over my head? please pray for me – for both of us. much appreciated.