Happy Birthday Josiah!

I can’t believe it’s been two years

Josiah was born three weeks early, two days after his big sister’s second birthday.  Both of my children were born the week of Thanksgiving; they are truly my Thanksgiving babies and I’m so thankful God placed them into my arms.  I get a little emotional around this time of year! 


Where did my babies go?  As time has passed, as I’ve been counting down the days to Josiah’s second birthday, I’ve been amazed that he’s continued to nurse this long.  Gwen self-weaned sometime after one year - sixteen, perhaps eighteen months?  I don’t remember offhand; I’d have to get out her calendar where I wrote everything down {insert self-deprecating smile}.  Converting his crib into a big-boy bed, taking away the paci, listening as his vocabulary has taken off, they’re all reminders that he’s growing up.  But nursing is one of the last vestiges of his babyhood. 


I was reacquanting myself with some of the benefits of toddler nursing and came upon this quote by Former Surgeon General, Dr. Antonia Novello: “It’s the lucky baby, I feel, who continues to nurse until he’s two.”  I smiled.  I have a lucky baby.

And I’m lucky to have him. 

I will admit, I don’t always feel lucky that I’ve been “blessed with quotes” (“blessed”) - as my husband and I often joke – when my children aren’t the little angels they should be.  And today, Josiah peed in his pants twice, had a huge hissy fit and refused to nap then pooped in his pants and got it on the bathroom rug (need I go on?)… but I try to keep it all in perspective.  Key word: try

I’m behind in posting about last week’s preschool so we’ll see if I get around to their birthdays, but I did take advantage of some of the tips I found on Pinterest.  I put balloons on their bedroom floor during the night and taped crepe paper streamers across their doorways; I thought for sure they’d bust through it but instead they crawled underneath!  Each of them got a birthday banner on his or her chair with a present on the table (and Gwen got wings on her chair, too) with another little gift at night. 

Take a gander at my pinterest board for other party ideas; I’m cooking up some ideas for their family birthday party the day after Thanksgiving.  When will I have time to make the cake?

Okay… just one more look…

 

The Things We Do For Our Kids

Before I had kids I used to think, If I ever have kids I hope they don’t do anything to embarass me.  HA!  Gwen oftentimes picks her own mismatched clothes to wear and throws on her scarf-turned-cape before heading to the library.  And you know what?  It makes me smile.  I get warm fuzzies watching my kids be themselves and find joy in the little things.

While at the craft store recently, I scored a fuzzy cat ears headband for a couple bucks, figuring I’d put it away for Gwen’s dress-up trunk.  The night before last, I was trying to think of something I could wear Halloween morning, just to be silly.  I remembered the cat ears and, lo and behold, they fit!  When the kiddos saw me with the cat ears and eyeliner-whiskers they were enthralled.  And then we all had to be cats!  Meowing away, of course.  I whipped them up some pom pom ears and attached them to a couple of Gwen’s headbands, and we headed out to see Meme and Daddy at work, and then us cool cats got groceries.  It was the cutest. thing. ever.


Remember the tutu I was working on for Gwen?  I kept hemming and hawing over how to finish it and complete the costume.  I really didn’t want to buy anymore supplies, but while browsing around the craft store I was cutting through the fake flower section when I saw these pretty sparkly poinsettias.  I got one on a whim, inspired to use the leaves as mermaid scales. Using this idea to hot glue elements to a tutu, I glued the leaves – er, scales – to the waistband of the tutu.  To get the mermaid’s tale I tied a piece of leftover tulle around the bottom.  I love how it turned out!


 

Gwen was so excited to get into her mermaid costume.  She wore some green pants underneath so she wouldn’t be cold, but since it wasn’t freezing outside she wore starfish flip flops.  We put a plain long-sleeved purple shirt on top, then layered pearls and turquoise beads.  With some of the leftover materials I hot glued some “scales” with a starfish and a pearl to make a hair clip, which adorned her hair along with some strips of shiny green net-like tulle.  Oh, and let’s not forget the makeup – white sparkles and turquoise on the eyes and sparkles all over her cheeks.  I found a shiny purple gift bag and tied a bunch of tulle to the handles for her treat bag.  Gwen was enthralled, trying not to smile, of course; she kept calling herself a “mermaid princess.”  


Josiah was less than thrilled with his get-up. Trying to be economical and not able to sew, I was leaning towards either the Freakin’ Cute Frankenstein or little homeless kid.  Well, the homeless kid won out since I didn’t have to buy anything.  I ripped some holes in a pair of jeans, found a plaid shirt, mismatched his shoes, and rubbed some makeup-stubble on his face.  Oh, and let’s not forget the clincher – the cardboard sign that read “Will work for candy!”  His treat bag was a trash bag.  He was so darn cute, though he didn’t want to wear the hat we gave him and he got really upset that his shoes didn’t match.  Hehe.



Instead of going from door to door around the neighborhood, we have kept Phil’s childhood tradition alive.  We drive the kiddos around to the homes of friends and family; it’s a great excuse to visit loved ones, and it means we don’t end up with too much candy. 

Our first stop is Meme and Pepe’s since they live right in town.  Meme got all decked out as the Fairy Godmother, only for her grandkids, since they don’t get other trick-or-treaters.  Gwendolyn loved it; Josiah wasn’t too sure.  See his stance and expression?  That’s the way he remained for the entire visit.      


We were chuckling the entire evening, talking about how cute the kids are, how big they’re getting, what kinds of costumes we could come up with in the future.  We talked about how funny it is that we do all of this just because it’s Halloween.  But it’s fun.  We don’t get into the skeletons and devils and cobwebs and all that, and we’re not big on decorating - though I do go for pumpkins and Hardy Mums and other Fall decorations – but it’s so much fun doing things for your kids. 


Now… onto November!  Looking forward to Thanksgiving and the kiddos’ birthdays.  I’m putting some finishing touches on some homemade gifts and I still have to start my Christmas letter – agggh!

How do you celebrate Halloween?  What are some silly things you do for your kids that you might not otherwise do?  What do you do to prepare for the holidays?

Birthday Goodness

After turning the big 3-0 last year, turning plain ol’ thirty-one today seems almost anti-climactic.  But I don’t need a big shebang to feel special.  Even though Phil is working a 24-hour shift, I feel much better today than I did when I celebrated our tenth anniversary all by myself last month. 

The kiddos and I had breakfast with Mom at T’s Restaurant, and afterwards I took them to a playground nearby.  

 

Now that I have children, I’ve found that most of what I do stems from a desire to make them happy.  Even though it may technically be “my day,” I wanted to do something special for them.  After all, they’re here because of me, so they’re as much a part of the celebration as I am.  I feel this even more strongly on their birthdays, since it commemorates not only the day they were born, but the day I gave birth to them.  

Anyhoo… I don’t know if I would call it a tradition, but I have this birthday ritual that’s been going on for the past few years.  It may have initially started when I was once again by myself, trying to think of a small way to celebrate.  I had passed Sweet Twist on a number of occasions, always wanted to stop because I was intrigued at the notion of a gift shop that also sold chocolates.  I love dark chocolate, and even more so do I love dark chocolate truffles.  It’s a little different now that the kiddos are with me – lots of pointing and “Mama, look!” and “No, don’t touch that.”  They each got to pick out one thing for their Christmas stocking, and then we got a small box of truffles.  Gwen wanted ”the one with the sparkles” (cupcake flavor with sprinkles) and I picked strawberry for Josiah.  For the rest, I chose tiramisu, pumpkin spice, raspberry, and creme de menthe.  Since I shared them, I really only ended up eating about two. 

And yes, I’m trying to justify myself because I’ve been pretty good at remaining consistent with my healthy eating habits, but whenever a special occasion comes around I almost always make an exception.  Like when Phil came home with ice cream and root beer last night to make root beer floats to go along with homemade pizza and a movie.  And celebrating Nikki’s 30th birthday with an international chocolate tasting – two big trays filled with an assortment of chocolate tidbits.  And carrot cake and peanut M&Ms for my anniversary.  I can’t handle all these special occasions!  And Phil wants to take us out tomorrow…

Look at what he left me this morning:


I brought the bouquet of Dahlias downstairs this morning to put on the kitchen table, only to realize he had another bouquet already down there!  When he saw me bring the flowers back upstairs, Josiah got it in his head that that’s where all the flowers belonged, so he kept trying to carry them up the stairs – “Up there, up there!” 

Other surprises were in store.  My twin bro Dan and his wife are away, but they snuck a package to Phil and they gave me two awesome books: Canning for a New Generation and Design Sponge at Home - I can’t wait to look into their crisp, new pages!  My mom also had a bag of yummy, practical goodies when she saw me at breakfast. 

 

A little birdie got in touch with some of my high school friends and somehow twisted their arms to send me birthday greetings.  It feels like Christmas around here with all the cards!   

 

And, in spite of my better judgement, Phil gave me the go-ahead to purchase these babies:


I’ve had my eye on these Brown & Turquoise Boots from Crow’s Nest Trading Co. and can’t wait till they come in the mail!  Let me pass along the savings: if you decide to order something from their website use promo code S11901 for 10% off a $150+ order. 

My parents are taking Gwen to the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular tonight and are insisting we all go along, so that oughtta be fun, as long as it’s not too cold!  Haven’t picked a restaurant for tomorrow yet, but I’m consider The Old Mill in MA.  I suppose the story is for another time, but going to The Old Mill for my birthday is a long-standing tradition for my family - my parents ate there while on a drive through Massachusetts looking at the foliage the day before my brother and I were born, and growing up I don’t think we ever missed a year going back. 

Feeling happy and blessed.

Miseducation

When we lost power during the hurricane last week, one of the books I started thumbing through was on old copy of Miseducation: Preschoolers at Risk that my mother had bequeathed to me. I’m already familiar with the concepts author David Elkind writes about, but began to feel somewhat uneasy as I read his words…

All across the country, educational programs intended for school-age children are being appropriated for the education of young children.  In some states educational administrators are advocating that children enter school at age four.  Many kindergarten programs have become full-day kindergartens, and nursery school programs have become pre-kindergartens.  Moreover, many of these kindergartens have introduced curricula, including work papers, once reserved for first-grade children. 

When we instruct children in academic subjects at too early an age, we miseducate them; we put them at risk for short-term stress and long-term personality damage for no useful purpose.  There is no evidence that such early instruction has lasting benefits and considerable evidence that it can do lasting harm.

I understand there are those that don’t have much of a choice in the matter – families where both parents have to work in order to pay the bills, for instance – but it has often saddened me when parents put their children in daycare programs rather than keeping them at home – especially as early as the newborn stage.  I was fortunate that I was able to take Gwendolyn to my part-time job when she was a baby; despite the inconvenience factor, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

As Gwendolyn has gotten bigger, neared school-age, I have been re-examining my role as her mother and caregiver.  The idea of public education has always turned me off, for a number of reasons, and private school has its own issues (aside from being expensive).  I myself graduated from a Christian school; while it has its upsides, and one school can be vastly different from the next, I don’t know that I would choose that for my own children.  However, I was homeschooled for a few years before entering private school, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Having a background in homeschool, knowing people who homeschool their families, having a support network in place and feeling as strongly as I do that God entrusted His children to my care – not wanting to hand over a large part of their upbringing to someone else to raise and instill them with values – homeschooling my kiddos seems like the obvious choice.

As I have researched the vast array of homeschool teaching methods, the one that most appeals to me is unschooling.  The idea of cultivating a child’s natural love of learning, keeping it alive simply by pursuing your interests and learning through those pursuits, finding what works best for us “without depending on educational institutions, publishing companies, or experts to tell them what to do,” sounds inspirational and freeing.

Because each and every family is different, each and every method will be different, and you will find variations on a theme.  I didn’t worry too much about getting Gwendolyn ready for grade requirements, because we already engage in educational activities and pursuits all the time.  She loves books, we go to the library every week and come home with an armload - she’ll learn to read, no problem.  

I was constantly surprised when people would ask me if – at three years old – she was in school, or would soon be riding the bus to school.  They were often surprised that she was with me every day.  Gwen started showing an interest in the idea of school, of course riding a bus, and I told her Mommy wants to teach her at home.  Since she has enjoyed structured, classroom-type environments – like at Sunday School, one-morning-a-week Bible school, and VBS (vacation Bible school) in the Summer - I thought I’d do a little experiment and plan a preschool curriculum for her.

We’ve officially begun preschool (or what probably amounts to pre-pre-K), and have three weeks under our belts, but I’m constantly questioning myself.  Some days it feels so forced; I have to conjure up the excitement to try and get Gwen (and Josiah, depending on the activity – though he’s up for anything) to “do school.”  I wonder if I’m forcing something for which she isn’t developmentally able, if my good intentioned-efforts will amount to her being frustrated and losing her zest for natural learning.  I try to turn fun things into learning experiences, and vice versa, but sometimes it feels like I fail miserably.  

Parents oftentimes do things for their kids, thinking it’s in their best interest, when really it serves to make the parents feel better – things like buying toys in excess, putting them in lots of extra-curricular activities and not allowing for downtime.  I believe miseducation is one of these things.  How much is too much, and too soon?  As David Elkind says, “We miseducate young children when we assume that their learning abilities are comparable to those of older children and that they can be taught with materials and with the same instructional procedures appropriate to school-age children.” 

I would also take this a step further and say that, since each child is different, traditional schooling as a whole can provide miseducation for a child at any age.  It keeps kids in an aritificial environment (a room full of their peers), relies on specific teaching-learning styles, while discouraging and labeling those personalities that are seen as disruptive. 

Babies and kids are smart – but there are some things for which they truly aren’t ready, and no amount of toys and gadgets and flashcards and memorization will make them learn those things before they are ready.  But in a society where infant education is accepted and promoted, and children are being expected to learn skills at a younger age, how do you realistically adjust your expectations and make the right decision for your family?

Earlier this morning I was reading some of my blog subscriptions, and I was inspired by Passionate Homemaking‘s Early Learning Preschool post.  I liked the idea of their casual, playful-yet-conducive-to-learning Circle Time.  This afternoon, doing some educational things with Gwen I spread a blanket on the floor first, and it suddenly became more fun for her. 

I so desperately want to do the right thing for my kiddos; I know I’m not supposed to be perfect but I want to be the best mommy I can be and do right by them.  I want to keep their love of learning alive, not squelch it with drills and instructions and workbooks.

Early childhood is a very important period of life.  It is a period when children learn an enormous amount about the everyday world.  It is also the time during which young children acquire lifelong attitudes toward themselves, toward others, and toward learning.  But it is not the time for formal academic instruction.  To appreciate this truth, we need to see the early years for what they are and not through the lenses of social, political, and personal dynamics that provide a distorted image of early-childhood competence.